How to be Smarter: If you enjoyed Bossypants as much as I did, then this Authors@Google video with Tina Fey is very enjoyable.
How to be Prettier: I love the mixed-metal, sleek but quirky vibe of these earrings. (Which I’m wearing as I type this).
How to be (less) Awkward: When you are throwing confetti, throw up in the air (like you are putting up an umbrella) so the confetti rains down, not out (like you are throwing a softball) because that way it can get in people’s eyes.
How to be Smarter: Success in life isn’t really about being the smartest, it’s about being the sharpest. To stay sharp, remember as much as you can about everyone and everything, and always be looking for ways to find that edge or that shortcut no one else has thought of yet.
How to be Prettier: I find that keeping hand lotion on my desk is more effective than keeping it in my bag; I spend more time at my desk than anywhere else, and so I absent-mindedly moisture all day long.
How to be (less) Awkward: If you are itching for a little pick-me-up, changing your profile picture on a social media tool you use a lot (Facebook, Twitter, gChat) is one of the easiest things to do for a minor change.
How to be Smarter: The only way I have found to conquer writer’s block is by following a simple rule: don’t get up from the chair until you have written something. You can always go back and revise what you wrote later, but you must write something before you can get up. And usually the something is better than you think it might be.
How to be Prettier: It’s important to remember that whether you do your nails yourself or you pay for a manicure, you will probably get the same number of compliments on them either way.
How to be (less) Awkward: If you are buying items you feel awkward about at the drugstore, cover the items in your basket with a magazine while you walk up to the front to check out.
How to be Smarter: If you rely too often on a band-aid solution for bigger problems, in time the quick-fix solution stops being a solution and starts becoming the problem.
How to be Prettier: Keeping a pair of statement earrings tucked in your desk at work can help an outfit go from the office to an unexpected dinner out quite easily.
How to be (less) Awkward: I know it’s hard not to, but as a general rule, most people don’t want to hear about your pets as much as you would like to talk about them.
How to be Smarter: The blogging community is a great place to start if you are interested in learning about a new topic, or want to apply some fresh ideas to your life. If you want to start eating better, find some blogs to love on healthy living. If you want to start saving better, look for personal finance blogs and apply some of their strategies. Interested in homeschooling? Fashion? Running? There’s a blogging community for that. Reading blogs is free, and the mix of information with personal stories is both informative and entertaining. (Feel free to leave some of your favorite blogs and their genre in the comments if you have any you’d like to share).
How to be Prettier: When getting a beauty treatment from a professional (i.e. hair stylist, nail technician) ask their opinion of what you should do before telling them what you want. Sometimes their answers might be something that doesn’t work for your lifestyle or isn’t what you are looking for, but other times their idea might be something you really like and never would have thought of on your own. (And it’s okay to ask for their professional opinion and then not take their suggestion, just saying “Hmm, I’ll think about that for next time! But today I’d like…” works if you’d rather stick with your original plan).
How to be (less) Awkward: An email is forever, and sometimes people re-read emails several times if what you are saying is especially sensitive or important. Pick your word choice carefully, and double-check you are being clear before you push “send.”
How to be Smarter: Today over on 40:20 Vision’s Flash Friday, check out tips and advice on the subject of cross-religion dating.
How to be Prettier: Dress the part of the person you want to be, even if you are not quite that person yet.
How to be (less) Awkward: Feeling confident in what you are wearing is really tied into feel comfortable in what you are wearing. If you are standing in front of the mirror and tugging, pulling or fussing with your outfit to get it to look just right, there might be a better choice in your closet for the evening.
How to be Smarter: The song “Question” by The Old 97′s is presumably about a man getting ready to ask a woman to marry him. But I really like the line “Some day somebody’s gonna ask you/A question that you should say yes to/Once in your life.” That lyric applies to more than a marriage proposal: every once in a while, somebody (a boss, a professor, a mentor, a friend) does ask you a once-in-a-lifetime question, even if the question (“Will you join my start-up?,” “Can you move to a new city with me?”, “May I help you draft your first novel?”) doesn’t feel as special as a marriage proposal when it’s being asked. But just like a marriage proposal, most opportunities do only come around once. And I really believe you should say “yes” to as many opportunities that come your way as possible.
How to be Prettier: When I was walking down the street today, I saw a girl whose simple outfit I really liked: black jeans tucked into tan mid-height boots, with a cream-striped sweater. She looked classically fall, with her hair in a low ponytail, but still really fresh and modern.
How to be (less) Awkward: Every few months, I like to go through my old tagged pictures on Facebook or the ones I have saved on my computer, and email a funny picture or two to my friends of our past adventures. It’s fun for me to go through old pictures, and I (hope) it brightens up the day for my friends to get a silly picture from 2007 in their email.
How to be Smarter: I always think it’s about quality, not visibility or popularity. If I told you that you could meet one of the most popular musicians of this year, you would probably be interested. But you might actually be more excited about meeting a band with a much smaller following that you have been devoted to for years. In the same way, I would focus less on being the most visible employee or student, and instead focus on creating quality work. Quality work always leads to devoted supporters, and at the end of the day 3 strong advocates for your talent are more important than 30 so-so advocates.
How to be Prettier: This is a great style blog in general, but especially for petite women.
How to be (less) Awkward: If you accidentally push the wrong floor in the elevator, just glance up and apologize to anyone else in the elevator, and then quickly push the “door close” button when the elevator lands on the wrong floor.
Smart Pretty and Awkward turns 35 months old today!
Approximately 1700 tips later, thank you all so much for your support and readership.
As always, I’m available via email (molly@smartprettyandawkward.com), and on Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr.
And, of course, Coffee with Molly, SP&A’s newsletter, turns 6 months old today. You can subscribe here to receive more content outside of the three-tips-a-post format.
Happy November!
xo, Molly
How to be Smarter: Sometimes announcing publicly your goal can help you stay more motivated to reach it. A simple way to do this is to write your objective down and put it on the refrigerator of your house. Then looking at the refrigerator serves as both a reminder to you to stay on-track, and is a public way to announce your determined intentions to reach your goal (even if the public knowing about your goal is just your roommates and your dog).
How to be Prettier: In colder months, I like wearing tall, calf- or knee-high socks–they tuck perfectly under boots, and they keep my legs warmer than ankle-high socks. (And I almost always buy them in fun holiday colors–no one else will see them, and it makes me happy to take off my boots and see bright red socks).
How to be (less) Awkward: No need to waste paper–you can play MASH online now ;).
How to be Smarter: Everyone has two or three female celebrities they always pay special attention to when they see their pictures in magazines or see them mentioned in an article online. But try to also have a few powerful females in the business or political sectors you follow as well—it’s important to reinforce to yourself, daily, that women can do great things and don’t just need to be famous for their looks or style sense.
How to be Prettier: When you use shampoo, concentrate on rubbing it into your scalp; when you use conditioner, concentrate on letting it sit on the ends of your hair.
How to be (less) Awkward: If you are nervous about leaving a voicemail, whether on the answering machine of a crush or a potential employer, it’s okay to write down bullet points you want to mention before you leave the voicemail.
Originally posted August 2010.
How to be Smarter: Everything has a benefit, but sometimes you don’t realize what the benefit is until long after the event is over.
How to be Prettier: 100% silk wrinkles a lot less over the course of a day than a silk-blend.
How to be (less) Awkward: Just adding a “thanks” to the end of a short email message can change the email’s tone from brisk and cold to friendly.
How to be Smarter: You are always in a position to negotiate. Never believe that what someone else says absolutely goes–there is always a middle to be met at, and concessions to be made on both sides. If you think there is no room to negotiate, the other side has already won.
How to be Prettier: Shake up your style: follow the most stylish girl around the store or flea market and see what she picks up.
How to be (less) Awkward: If there was a yellow dress you liked online but it was labeled “Out of Stock,” you would say, “aw, too bad,” and move on. You would not check the dress daily hoping they would magically make more–you would search online to find another similar yellow dress that was in-stock somewhere else–maybe for a lower price or a pattern you liked more. If there is someone you like but they are already seeing someone, consider them labeled “Out of Stock.” Do not check their facebook page daily hoping their relationship status changes, or plot ways to break them up. Think about what you like about this person–sense of humor, kindness–and go find it in someone else.
Originally posted April 2010.
How to be Smarter: A nice post about four characteristics of a successful relationship.
How to be Prettier: When going to a work happy hour, dress for work, not for happy hour.
How to be (less) Awkward: When sending pictures as attachments, rename the file so instead of a string of numbers, the picture is named what the viewer will see, i.e. “Rachel and Sarah Dancing” or “View from the Balcony.” This makes the picture image clearer to the receiver, and it is also easier to re-find the files on the desktop later.
How to be Smarter: There are two times a boy can bring you flowers: for no reason at all, and to say he is sorry. But if he brings flowers for no reason at all, he will rarely have to say he is sorry. There are two times you can be a great student: all semester long, or after you mess up a big test. But if you are a great student all semester, you will not mess up the test to begin with. There are two times you can be the best employee: all day long, or after your boss stops by your desk to inform you of something you messed up. But if you are a great employee all day long, he will stop by to pop his head in and say hello, not to yell at you.
How to be Prettier: No one needs a magnifying mirror in their bathroom. No one. You’re pretty enough from afar sweet girl, and if someone is close enough to see your pores, they already love you for your personality.
How to be (less) Awkward: If you are lucky enough to live or work in a place that tourists want to photograph and videotape, then you must be grateful enough to not complain about it.
Originally posted November 2009.
How to be Smarter: Take a piece of paper, and follow it in half down the middle. On the top of one side put “Love,” and at the top of the other column put “Don’t Love.” Write down all the things you are loving about your life in the first column, and on the other side, write down all the things that are less than ideal. Then draw a line horizontal across the page under your Love/Don’t Love lists, and in the bottom of each column brainstorm ways to incorporate more of the things you love and ways to fix the things you don’t love. (My friend Amanda gave me this tip like six months ago, but it’s become such a part of my routine–I do it a few times a month– that I forgot to blog about it until now. I usually hang my most recent list up near my desk as a reminder of what I should be working on that week).
How to be Prettier: If you have a dress you love but the length is a little short, put the dress on first and then put a longer skirt on over the bottom. You will still be wearing the dress on top, but the length will become more appropriate with the addition of the skirt.
How to be (less) Awkward: Not awkward, just adorable: It’s impossible to watch this video and not smile.
How to be Smarter: If you unsubscribed from an organization’s list server after the second email they sent you, the organization would probably assume you weren’t that engaged in their cause anyways and move on. So if someone unsubscribes from your life after the second date, count your blessings and move on –they weren’t going to be loyal supporters of you to begin with.
How to be Prettier: Pearls reflect light onto your face. Throwing on a pearl necklace or earrings when you are tired makes you look more awake.
How to be (less) Awkward: Lean slightly forward in your chair during a job interview—you look more interested. Follow the same rule on a date or during a business meeting.
Originally posted June 2009.
How to be Smarter: If you must order food from a questionable restaurant, order the pancakes: they are hard for any cook to mess up.
How to be Prettier: Halloween is in less than one week. This is the time to be rummaging through your closet or jewelry box to find something orange-hued that you can wear to work on Monday. (You can still wear festive Halloween colors even if you can’t wear your costume to work).
How to be (less) Awkward: One of the secrets to life is that if you don’t feel like sharing something, you don’t have to. Privacy is always yours if you (sweetly) set boundaries and follow them.
How to be Smarter: Anyone part of the online community, or who wants to know more about social media to distinguish their resume, should read Tara Hunt’s The Whuffie Factor.
How to be Prettier: Perfume is an investment. A nice perfume can be expensive, but a good bottle will become both your signature scent and last for a while.
How to be (less) Awkward: If someone keeps trying to walk out of your life, stop holding the door shut and begging for them to stay. Let them go.
Originally posted May 2009.
