How to be Smarter: You don’t make polite small talk with other people just to make their day better. You do it because it makes both your days better. Humans need other humans, and even just sharing a quick exchange about the song playing on the radio with the secretary at the dentist’s office can make the interaction or the wait time more enjoyable for everyone.

How to be Prettier: The width of a scarf is as important as its length; thin scarves look dramatically different around your neck than wider scarves.

How to be (less) Awkward: Pretty much everything that seemed miserable to me five years ago is now my best material for jokes. So when things look bad or you screwed something up, imagine how in a few years (or months, or weeks, or even minutes) it will be just another funny story you can tell on first dates and mass-text to your girlfriends.

How to be Smarter: Even when the day just seems average, or maybe even a little bad, I like to remind myself that the next email, or phone call, or encounter I have, could come with the best news ever. We all can be perpetually on the edge of the best day of our life, and not even know it.

How to be Prettier: When giving a speech, put a smiley face in the upper corner of each notecard to remind yourself to smile while you talk.

How to be (less) Awkward: I always think you should go where people want you. If you are at a party, and no one in the circle you are standing in seems interested in hearing what you have to say, move to another circle. Same goes for jobs and relationships.

Hope you have a million and one reasons to be thankful.

Love,

Molly

How to be Smarter: It’s important to look at someone’s intentions before getting annoyed or angry. If someone’s intentions were kind but misguided, that deserves a different reaction than someone whose intentions were mean-spirited.

How to be Prettier: A trim means different things to different stylists. Instead of asking for a trim, ask for a specific measurement in inches (or a specific fraction of an inch) cut off.

How to be (less) Awkward: Not awkward, just awesome: a retro photography art project.

How to be Smarter: A step everyday eventually equals a mile. If you can do one thing that will get you closer to your goal each day–just one thing–you will reach the goal. It might take seven days or it might take 70, but you will get there eventually if you keep stepping.

How to be Prettier: If you are eating a microwave dinner, take it out of the container and eat it on a pretty plate. It makes the whole meal look more appealing.

How to be (less) Awkward: When at a business lunch, after you finish eating try nonchalantly swishing water in your mouth. Business colleagues might not feel comfortable telling you when you have food in your teeth, and it looks silly to have a bit of food in the middle of your front teeth when pitching your company.

How to be Smarter: 25 Worst Passwords of 2011 (and how to create a better one).

How to be Prettier: Getting your hair blown-out by a professional before a job interview can help you feel more confident in the interview. (And your hair will still look great when you go out later to celebrate your successful interview).

How to be (less) Awkward: At a party before you head up to the bar to get a drink, ask those around you if they need anything–another drink (alcoholic or not), a napkin, glass of water, etc.

How to be Smarter: Pretty much the most surefire way to prevent getting what you want is to refuse to ask for it.

How to be Prettier: I think you can build a whole beauty (and life) philosophy around the idea that nobody ever looks worse when they smile.

How to be (less) Awkward: It’s not just parents that get annoyed when you text at the table. When you are having dinner with anyone, even someone your own age, phones are away. If there is something truly pressing you must check, either excuse yourself to go the restroom or ask your dinner partner if they mind if you take a quick peek at your phone.

How to be Smarter: If you enjoyed Bossypants as much as I did, then this Authors@Google video with Tina Fey is very enjoyable.

How to be Prettier: I love the mixed-metal, sleek but quirky vibe of these earrings. (Which I’m wearing as I type this).

How to be (less) Awkward: When you are throwing confetti, throw up in the air (like you are putting up an umbrella) so the confetti rains down, not out (like you are throwing a softball) because that way it can get in people’s eyes.

How to be Smarter: Success in life isn’t really about being the smartest, it’s about being the sharpest. To stay sharp, remember as much as you can about everyone and everything, and always be looking for ways to find that edge or that shortcut no one else has thought of yet.

How to be Prettier: I find that keeping hand lotion on my desk is more effective than keeping it in my bag; I spend more time at my desk than anywhere else, and so I absent-mindedly moisture all day long.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you are itching for a little pick-me-up, changing your profile picture on a social media tool you use a lot (Facebook, Twitter, gChat) is one of the easiest things to do for a minor change.

How to be Smarter: The only way I have found to conquer writer’s block is by following a simple rule: don’t get up from the chair until you have written something. You can always go back and revise what you wrote later, but you must write something before you can get up. And usually the something is better than you think it might be.

How to be Prettier: It’s important to remember that whether you do your nails yourself or you pay for a manicure, you will probably get the same number of compliments on them either way.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you are buying items you feel awkward about at the drugstore, cover the items in your basket with a magazine while you walk up to the front to check out.

How to be Smarter: If you rely too often on a band-aid solution for bigger problems, in time the quick-fix solution stops being a solution and starts becoming the problem.

How to be Prettier: Keeping a pair of statement earrings tucked in your desk at work can help an outfit go from the office to an unexpected dinner out quite easily.

How to be (less) Awkward: I know it’s hard not to, but as a general rule, most people don’t want to hear about your pets as much as you would like to talk about them.

How to be Smarter: The blogging community is a great place to start if you are interested in learning about a new topic, or want to apply some fresh ideas to your life. If you want to start eating better, find some blogs to love on healthy living. If you want to start saving better, look for personal finance blogs and apply some of their strategies. Interested in homeschooling? Fashion? Running? There’s a blogging community for that. Reading blogs is free, and the mix of information with personal stories is both informative and entertaining. (Feel free to leave some of your favorite blogs and their genre in the comments if you have any you’d like to share).

How to be Prettier: When getting a beauty treatment from a professional (i.e. hair stylist, nail technician) ask their opinion of what you should do before telling them what you want. Sometimes their answers might be something that doesn’t work for your lifestyle or isn’t what you are looking for, but other times their idea might be something you really like and never would have thought of on your own. (And it’s okay to ask for their professional opinion and then not take their suggestion, just saying “Hmm, I’ll think about that for next time! But today I’d like…” works if you’d rather stick with your original plan).

How to be (less) Awkward: An email is forever, and sometimes people re-read emails several times if what you are saying is especially sensitive or important. Pick your word choice carefully, and double-check you are being clear before you push “send.”

How to be Smarter: Today over on 40:20 Vision’s Flash Friday, check out tips and advice on the subject of cross-religion dating.

How to be Prettier: Dress the part of the person you want to be, even if you are not quite that person yet.

How to be (less) Awkward: Feeling confident in what you are wearing is really tied into feel comfortable in what you are wearing. If you are standing in front of the mirror and tugging, pulling or fussing with your outfit to get it to look just right, there might be a better choice in your closet for the evening.

How to be Smarter: The song “Question” by The Old 97′s is presumably about a man getting ready to ask a woman to marry him. But I really like the line “Some day somebody’s gonna ask you/A question that you should say yes to/Once in your life.” That lyric applies to more than a marriage proposal: every once in a while, somebody (a boss, a professor, a mentor, a friend) does ask you a once-in-a-lifetime question, even if the question (“Will you join my start-up?,” “Can you move to a new city with me?”, “May I help you draft your first novel?”) doesn’t feel as special as a marriage proposal when it’s being asked. But just like a marriage proposal, most opportunities do only come around once. And I really believe you should say “yes” to as many opportunities that come your way as possible.

How to be Prettier: When I was walking down the street today, I saw a girl whose simple outfit I really liked: black jeans tucked into tan mid-height boots, with a cream-striped sweater. She looked classically fall, with her hair in a low ponytail, but still really fresh and modern.

How to be (less) Awkward:  Every few months, I like to go through my old tagged pictures on Facebook or the ones I have saved on my computer, and email a funny picture or two to my friends of our past adventures. It’s fun for me to go through old pictures, and I (hope) it brightens up the day for my friends to get a silly picture from 2007 in their email.

How to be Smarter: I always think it’s about quality, not visibility or popularity. If I told you that you could meet one of the most popular musicians of this year, you would probably be interested. But you might actually be more excited about meeting a band with a much smaller following that you have been devoted to for years. In the same way, I would focus less on being the most visible employee or student, and instead focus on creating quality work. Quality work always leads to devoted supporters, and at the end of the day 3 strong advocates for your talent are more important than 30 so-so advocates.

How to be Prettier: This is a great style blog in general, but especially for petite women.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you accidentally push the wrong floor in the elevator, just glance up and apologize to anyone else in the elevator, and then quickly push the “door close” button when the elevator lands on the wrong floor. 

Smart Pretty and Awkward turns 35 months old today!

Approximately 1700 tips later, thank you all so much for your support and readership.

As always, I’m available via email (molly@smartprettyandawkward.com), and on Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr. 

And, of course, Coffee with Molly, SP&A’s newsletter, turns 6 months old today. You can subscribe here to receive more content outside of the three-tips-a-post format.

Happy November!

xo, Molly