How to be Smarter: Sometimes announcing publicly your goal can help you stay more motivated to reach it. A simple way to do this is to write your objective down and put it on the refrigerator of your house. Then looking at the refrigerator serves as both a reminder to you to stay on-track, and is a public way to announce your determined intentions to reach your goal (even if the public knowing about your goal is just your roommates and your dog). 

How to be Prettier: In colder months, I like wearing tall, calf- or knee-high socks–they tuck perfectly under boots, and they keep my legs warmer than ankle-high socks. (And I almost always buy them in fun holiday colors–no one else will see them, and it makes me happy to take off my boots and see bright red socks).

How to be (less) Awkward: No need to waste paper–you can play MASH online now ;).

How to be Smarter: Everyone has two or three female celebrities they always pay special attention to when they see their pictures in magazines or see them mentioned in an article online. But try to also have a few powerful females in the business or political sectors you follow as well—it’s important to reinforce to yourself, daily, that women can do great things and don’t just need to be famous for their looks or style sense.

How to be Prettier: When you use shampoo, concentrate on rubbing it into your scalp; when you use conditioner, concentrate on letting it sit on the ends of your hair.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you are nervous about leaving a voicemail, whether on the answering machine of a crush or a potential employer, it’s okay to write down bullet points you want to mention before you leave the voicemail.

Originally posted August 2010.

How to be Smarter: Everything has a benefit, but sometimes you don’t realize what the benefit is until long after the event is over.

How to be Prettier: 100% silk wrinkles a lot less over the course of a day than a silk-blend.

How to be (less) Awkward: Just adding a “thanks” to the end of a short email message can change the email’s tone from brisk and cold to friendly.

How to be Smarter: You are always in a position to negotiate. Never believe that what someone else says absolutely goes–there is always a middle to be met at, and concessions to be made on both sides. If you think there is no room to negotiate, the other side has already won.

How to be Prettier: Shake up your style: follow the most stylish girl around the store or flea market and see what she picks up.

How to be (less) Awkward: If there was a yellow dress you liked online but it was labeled “Out of Stock,” you would say, “aw, too bad,” and move on. You would not check the dress daily hoping they would magically make more–you would search online to find another similar yellow dress that was in-stock somewhere else–maybe for a lower price or a pattern you liked more. If there is someone you like but they are already seeing someone, consider them labeled “Out of Stock.” Do not check their facebook page daily hoping their relationship status changes, or plot ways to break them up. Think about what you like about this person–sense of humor, kindness–and go find it in someone else.

Originally posted April 2010.

How to be Smarter: A nice post about four characteristics of a successful relationship.

How to be Prettier: When going to a work happy hour, dress for work, not for happy hour.

How to be (less) Awkward: When sending pictures as attachments, rename the file so instead of a string of numbers, the picture is named what the viewer will see, i.e. “Rachel and Sarah Dancing” or “View from the Balcony.” This makes the picture image clearer to the receiver, and it is also easier to re-find the files on the desktop later.

How to be Smarter: There are two times a boy can bring you flowers: for no reason at all, and to say he is sorry. But if he brings flowers for no reason at all, he will rarely have to say he is sorry. There are two times you can be a great student: all semester long, or after you mess up a big test. But if you are a great student all semester, you will not mess up the test to begin with. There are two times you can be the best employee: all day long, or after your boss stops by your desk to inform you of something you messed up. But if you are a great employee all day long, he will stop by to pop his head in and say hello, not to yell at you.

How to be Prettier: No one needs a magnifying mirror in their bathroom. No one. You’re pretty enough from afar sweet girl, and if someone is close enough to see your pores, they already love you for your personality.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you are lucky enough to live or work in a place that tourists want to photograph and videotape, then you must be grateful enough to not complain about it.

Originally posted November 2009.

How to be Smarter: Take a piece of paper, and follow it in half down the middle. On the top of one side put “Love,” and at the top of the other column put “Don’t Love.” Write down all the things you are loving about your life in the first column,  and on the other side, write down all the things that are less than ideal. Then draw a line horizontal across the page under your Love/Don’t Love lists, and in the bottom of each column brainstorm ways to incorporate more of the things you love and ways to fix the things you don’t love. (My friend Amanda gave me this tip like six months ago, but it’s become such a part of my routine–I do it a few times a month– that I forgot to blog about it until now. I usually hang my most recent list up near my desk as a reminder of what I should be working on that week).

How to be Prettier: If you have a dress you love but the length is a little short, put the dress on first and then put a longer skirt on over the bottom. You will still be wearing the dress on top, but the length will become more appropriate with the addition of the skirt.

How to be (less) Awkward: Not awkward, just adorable: It’s impossible to watch this video and not smile.

How to be Smarter: If you unsubscribed from an organization’s list server after the second email they sent you, the organization would probably assume you weren’t that engaged in their cause anyways and move on. So if someone unsubscribes from your life after the second date, count your blessings and move on –they weren’t going to be loyal supporters of you to begin with.

How to be Prettier: Pearls reflect light onto your face. Throwing on a pearl necklace or earrings when you are tired makes you look more awake.

How to be (less) Awkward: Lean slightly forward in your chair during a job interview—you look more interested. Follow the same rule on a date or during a business meeting.

Originally posted June 2009.

How to be Smarter: If you must order food from a questionable restaurant, order the pancakes: they are hard for any cook to mess up. 

How to be Prettier: Halloween is in less than one week. This is the time to be rummaging through your closet or jewelry box to find something orange-hued that you can wear to work on Monday. (You can still wear festive Halloween colors even if you can’t wear your costume to work).

How to be (less) Awkward: One of the secrets to life is that if you don’t feel like sharing something, you don’t have to. Privacy is always yours if you (sweetly) set boundaries and follow them.

How to be Smarter: Anyone part of the online community, or who wants to know more about social media to distinguish their resume, should read Tara Hunt’s The Whuffie Factor.

How to be Prettier: Perfume is an investment. A nice perfume can be expensive, but a good bottle will become both your signature scent and last for a while.

How to be (less) Awkward: If someone keeps trying to walk out of your life, stop holding the door shut and begging for them to stay. Let them go.

Originally posted May 2009.

How to be Smarter: If you want to stand out in a room, be different than everyone else in the room.

How to be Prettier: JewelMint (Kate Bosworth’s jewelry site) is offering SP&A readers 50% off with the code BOCT50 at checkout. I’m pleased to offer that discount code, as I have been trying out JewelMint for the last month, and have been impressed with both the jewelry selection and the site experience. Enjoy!

How to be (less) Awkward: Is it a cheese, or is it a font?

P.S. This week, I’m going to be posting twice a day. Once in the morning with new content, and once in the afternoon with a favorite post or tip from the SP&A archives. SP&A will be three years old in December, and since I’ve picked up some new readers since the site first started, I want to give some old tips from 2008, 2009, and 2010 some special attention. Happy Monday!

How to be Smarter: When going in for an interview, have a list of questions about the position written down in your notebook. When the interviewer asks if you have any questions, you will look thoughtful and prepared as you pull out your list.

How to be Prettier: When speaking in front of a group, wear a solid-colored top so that your hand gestures are easier for the audience to see without being distracted by a print or pattern.

How to be (less) Awkward: Make your own LOLcat poster. (My favorite site this week, for sure).

How to be Smarter: When discussing a topic you’re not familiar with, and a colleague, boss or date corrects something you’ve said, respond with a thoughtful question as opposed to “really?” or “are you sure?”. A smart question keeps the conversation going, and helps you to still look engaged even if the topic is not one you know well. 

How to be Prettier: I love items in rainbow-order, and having this poster hanging up near my closet makes me smile each time I get dressed (and also reminds me to wear color).

How to be (less) Awkward:  If you are meeting someone at the airport, make a cute sign with their name on it to hold while they come down the escalator towards baggage claim–it’s an easy, fun way to make someone feel welcomed and appreciated after a trip.

How to be Smarter: Just because you are afraid of the unknown doesn’t mean you need to resign yourself to the fact that your life must stay the same forever. (The Smarter here is applicable to that statement, and one of my favorite posts, ever).

How to be Prettier: An ease way to winterize almost any summer dress is to throw boots and a cardigan/blazer on with it, instead of bare-shouldered with flip flops or sandals.

How to be (less) Awkward: Are you checking or carrying today? (Cool site).

How to be Smarter: I think the happiest people continually create their own options and choices, and I think the unhappiest people are the ones that feel unable to do that and so they are stuck in their situation. You have to practice being proactive about finding ways to make your life better, and you might have to make changes, even if you are scared. By practicing these two things, when a bad moment does come around, you will already have a reservoir of confidence that you can trust yourself to find and execute a way to make it better.

How to be Prettier: 10 Ways to Be Beautiful Without Spending a Penny.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you are bringing a camera to an event, make sure to take pictures of everyone in the group–you want to make sure each person, even acquaintances, feels included.

How to be Smarter: A really inspirational blog I enjoy reading: Life After College.

How to be Prettier: Your choice in footwear is extremely important at large crowd events, like concerts. To avoid your toes getting squashed, wear closed-toed shoes that you have worn before and are broken-in so you know they don’t pinch. Also, always bring band-aids for blisters (yours or a friend’s) just in case.

How to be (less) Awkward: When you are a house guest, keep your time in the bathroom, and most especially the shower, as short as possible to show consideration for your host, host’s family, and other house guests. Everyone else will need to use the bathroom, too, and they will also want hot water.

How to be Smarter: You have to reliable to be successful. You can have the best ideas in the world, but if no one trusts you to actually carry them out, it doesn’t matter–no one will invest in your business idea, no one will sponsor your road race, no one will date a flake. It’s okay to brainstorm, but don’t commit to an idea unless you know you will take the time to actually execute it. 

How to be Prettier: Most people believe in the importance of having a closet full of clothes you enjoy wearing, but you can’t wear all of your clothes everyday. It can be just as nice to splurge on a pretty coffee cup, toothbrush holder, or key chain. Things that you use and touch everyday, even if they are not clothes, should still make you feel happy when you look at them. 

How to be (less) Awkward:  How to deal with rude bosses and/or disrespectful subordinates.

How to be Smarter: The same way people don’t like to get a trim when they just really want to grow their hair long, sometimes people are slow to cut off bad romantic matches when they just really want a relationship. But a trim of things that aren’t working, whether it’s dead ends or go-nowhere match-ups, is usually the best thing for the overall health of your hair or your heart.

How to be Prettier: The search is over: an inexpensive, grey, vegan leather jacket.

How to be (less) Awkward: If you tend to get nervous in group settings, sometimes it is better to arrive early and let the room fill up around you; it  is usually less intimating than walking into a room full of people.

How to be Smarter: Using Technology to Ease Transitions.

How to be Prettier: If you are heading out for the night and you know your picture will be taken, take a few quick camera shots at home so you can double-check that your clothes look okay when the flash goes off (and to find the pose that is most flattering in that specific outfit).

How to be (less) Awkward: The key to picking a song for karaoke is to chose a crowd-pleaser. If you are an unbelievably amazing singer, you could probably chose a less popular song and let your voice carry the performance, but for most of us, choosing a popular hit excites the audience, which is more fun for everyone and allows any singing flaws to be overlooked. (And hint: most crowd pleasers are retro, from the 90′s and before).