How to be Smarter: People learn how to talk to you by what you teach them is an acceptable way to talk to you. If you someone speaks meanly to you, and you don’t ask them to stop, you are teaching them it is okay to do so. You make the rules for your life, most certainly including how others communicate with you.

How to be Prettier: You need clothes in your closet for what you do most often. If you spend 5 days a week at a job or school, and 2 nights a week out about town, the simple math is that 2/7 of your clothes should be cocktail attire, and the other 5/7 should be for work or school. If this fact make you feel like your closet instantly became less awesome, then it might be time to remind yourself that looking appropriate certainly doesn’t mean looking boring.

How to be (less) Awkward: Liking where you live makes everything happier. (My guest post on loving New York).

Guest Post on Instructions for Creating 2011 Dreams.

How to be Smarter: Making a decision is climbing a diving board. Realizing you have a choice to make is walking up to the ladder; figuring out your options are the steps of the ladder; considering each option’s pros and cons is walking down the board; standing at the end of the board is the time when you really think about your choice and if it is what you want; and jumping is making that choice. If you try to jump off the diving board before you’ve reached the end of the board, the decision probably won’t turn out into the perfect swan dive you want.

How to be Prettier: One of my closest friends gave me this necklace as a Christmas gift, and I haven’t taken it off since.

How to be (less) Awkward: Pretty cool language application demonstration.

How to be Smarter: Relationships with upstanding, decent people should be celebrated and shared, not hidden. If you are embarrassed to tell your mom who you are dating, it is probably a bad idea to be dating them.

How to be Prettier: The longer you can sit with your hands under the dryer at the salon, the longer your polish stays on without chipping. (This has long been my hypothesis, but a recent four week-long study with myself as the subject confirmed this).

How to be (less) Awkward: Snuggly gag gift for sushi lovers.

How to be Smarter: When you first get in the ocean, the water is usually really cold and uncomfortable until you duck your head under. As soon as your head is under, the water usually starts to feel warmer. Sometimes when you first try new activities, jobs, or majors,  they can be really cold-feeling and uncomfortable until you make a commitment to fully immerse yourself in your new environment. To reach out and make new friends in your writing class; to run for office in your film club; to invite a girl in the cubicle next to you out for lunch. In order for nervousness  and uncomfortable feelings to go away, you often have to dive right in and swim around a little until you warm up.

How to be Prettier: Stylish, warm lounging slippers–great for a dad, brother or boyfriend.

How to be (less) Awkward: Just a really great proposal video and story.

How to be Smarter: During reviews at work, it can be helpful to ask your boss on ways you can improve your job performance to convey your investment and interest in the future of the company. This concept of asking for feedback on how you can improve can also be applied to your relationship to show you are invested and interested in the future of your relationship. A simple “how can I be a better partner to you?” said in a sweet, earnest way, can yield surprising answers from your significant other on ways you can better the relationship by bettering yourself.

How to be Prettier: Short little article on the effect of sleep on attractiveness.

How to be (less) Awkward: At a holiday party, if you want to refresh your breath but don’t have gum on you, nibble on a candy cane.

How to be Smarter: If you’re lying about something important, you will be found out. And if you’re lying and the truth is never found out, it means the issue was unimportant and there was no need to lie to begin with.

How to be Prettier: As I write this, I’m lounging around in this snuggly, cultured sweatshirt.

How to be (less) Awkward: In a pinch, all you really need to do before company comes is clean off the floor, clean off the counter tops, and take out the trash.

How to be Smarter: It is almost impossible to make fun of your hometown without making fun of the people in it. The people who shaped, loved and helped you grow up–not just your parents but neighbors, elementary school teachers, family friends–they all helped. Making fun of your hometown doesn’t make you look “cool” for outgrowing it, it makes you look ungrateful for not appreciating it.

How to be Prettier: Since everyone already looks kind of silly in earmuffs, but they really do keep you warm without messing up your hair, go unapologetically large and fun with them, especially if you have a neutral-colored coat: here, here and here.

How to be (less) Awkward: When someone goes away to a place you’ve been, it is fun to compare experience. However  before the trip your job is to give helpful advice about the fun you had; after a trip, your job is to listen to the fun they had (not to mention what attractions you think they  missed out on).

How to be Smarter: If you are stuck and can’t think of ideas for how to celebrate a milestone, think back to what you did when you were little. Did you celebrate your tenth birthday at LaserQuest–why don’t you do that for your 10 month with your beau? Was your kindergarten graduation party ladybug-themed–why not have a college graduation brunch with the same color scheme? Parties that were fun when you were little are still fun–maybe more so–as an adult.

How to be Prettier: If you’re going to pluck your eyebrows, do it after a shower when your pores are still open so it hurts less.

How to be (less) Awkward:  At work or at home, no sending huge email attachments unless the person has specifically asked for the material. And even then, double-check before sending so you don’t clog up their entire inbox.

How to be Smarter: Sometimes people who are rescuing you are doing it by letting you rescue yourself.

How to be Prettier: If you can’t get motivated, feel overwhelmed or are not happy, changing a little piece of your outfit can often change the day. In your work desk or school bag, keep a fun-colored thin cardigan or dangly earrings to whip on if suddenly your current state of mind feels blah.

How to be (less) Awkward: Graphs about life.

How to be Smarter: The more unexpectedly harsher someone is with you is usually directly proportional to the number of personal issues they are dealing with that are unrelated to you.

How to be Prettier: Stocking stuffer for a best friend–great girlie touch to a formal work outfit, or to layer on with gold bangles.

How to be (less) Awkward: Celebrities at My Parties – cute idea and fun to look through.

How to be Smarter: Extremely addicting geography game (Photos of the World is my favorite level).

How to be Prettier: I bought this bag a few months ago as a gift for someone; when it came in the mail, I quickly ordered one for me. The version I ordered was pink/black, which is sold out now, but this bag is a similar styling.

How to be (less) Awkward: When you pull a stick of gum or a mint out of your purse in a group setting, offer one to everyone. If you don’t have enough to share (or just don’t feel like sharing), wait for a moment alone to grab one for yourself.

Two years ago today,  the first SP&A post hit the web.

For the first two months, I told almost no one, but by month 5, I noticed my readership slowly growing. 8 months in, I switched hosting services for a cleaner layout; 10 months in I added merchandise and starting growing the Twitter and Facebook page;  13 months in there was a readership survey;  and at the 20 month mark, I had a little party with my friends.