How to be Smarter: Sometimes, the most helpful thing is just to get what you want to say to him out of your system. Post-breakup, designate a friend to text what you want to say to him, but probably shouldn’t. She doesn’t have to respond–but every time you want to send a text to him that says “by the way, I never thought World of Warcraft was even mildly interesting” send it to her instead.

How to be Prettier: This fall, everyone needs a snuggly purple cardigan.

How to be (less) Awkward: If a boyfriend asks you a question that you don’t want to answer, just say, “I don’t want to answer.” Say it with a smile, and snuggle into them. Not every question needs to be answered, especially about past relationships or current feelings.

How to be Smarter: The more volume you have or produce–whether it be blog posts, good ideas, or boys you’ve dated–the more a slip-up or mistake is ignored. I.e. if you’ve dated one loser, but a million winners, people forget about the loser. If all you’ve ever dated is one loser, your sample size is so small that he stands out.

How to be Prettier: In reference to yesterday’s post, the reason you don’t want to cut cuticles of your nails is because it opens your nails up to infections. Actually, according to my research, in some states, it is illegal to cut cuticles in a licensed nail salon.

How to be (less) Awkward: I am not a scientist. However, whenever I do something awkward, I frown quizzically and tell people “not to mind me, I’m just working on a theory.” For some reason, people always buy this. Or they pretend too. I really have no idea.

How to be Smarter: Some people will stop loving you; some people will never start. Most will waver somewhere in the middle. At the end of the day, how you perceive that they feel might be more important than anything else.

How to be Prettier: Never cut your cuticles.

How to be (less) Awkward: You rarely get what you want when you yell at a customer service person; you rarely get what you want when you yell at a boy.

How to be Smarter: Sometimes, if you don’t know what to say, it is better to say “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say,” then fumble around for a while, using words that don’t express how you feel or what you want to say correctly.

How to be Prettier: I have a favorite necklace that I like to wear all the time. But sometimes it doesn’t look good with the neckline of my top, so I wrap it a few times around my wrist and wear it as a bracelet instead.

How to be (less) Awkward: Pee on the porcelain of the toilet if you don’t want anyone to hear.

How to be Smarter: Small children are taught to say “thank you” when someone hands them something tangible. But big children should be taught to say thank you when someone hands them intangible things–support, sympathy, love, understanding, humor. “Thank you for answering my call last night so late–I was so upset.” “Thank you for walking with me to get lunch today! Loved the company.” “Hi Mom! Thanks for spending the last 20-odd years worrying about me on an almost constant basis.”

How to be Prettier: Industrial bags with girlie dresses are a contrast that is striking, and also tends to be exceedingly practical as industrial bags tend to fit more than girlie purses. I recently paired this bag with this dress, and loved the result.

How to be (less) Awkward: It is never too late to make your home into a home that hugs.

How to be Smarter: You’re old enough, at this point, to know without asking: your social security number; your parents’ birthdays; and what kind of food to bring over when your BFF feels homesick. It’s not that someone would mind telling you these things–it’s that you know without asking that makes the remembering so powerful.

How to be Prettier: An oval nail shape, not square, makes hands look longer.

How to be (less) Awkward: For the most part, respond to people in the manner in which they contact you. A missed call gets an call back, a text gets a texted repsonse. A twitter direct message shouldn’t get an email, and a facebook message shouldn’t get a phone call.

How to be Smarter: Encourage people to be involved in your life–being accountable to someone other than yourself is one of the biggest motivators I know.

How to be Prettier: Gray tights seem to be everywhere for the fall. Because of their lighter color, they are less slimming than black tights, so I recommend wearing gray tights with heels, not flats, to lengthen the leg.

How to be (less) Awkward: One of my favorite songs to listen to as school starts again, and the leaves turn, is “We’re Going to be Friends” by the White Stripes.

How to be Smarter: Keep the spectators in your life–the ones who are invested in how you play the game–on the edge of their seats and, occasionally, leaping to their feet.

How to be Prettier: Apparently, the Olsen twins get their signature pout by saying the word “prune” and holding the “uuunn” part right before being photographed. Try it; it actually works.

How to be (less) Awkward: The only rules for meeting a boy’s mom is to show no cleavage and talk a lot. Moms always like girls that are chatty.

How to be Smarter: Being independent, and being loyal, are not mutually exclusive. You can be extremely loyal to those you love–in a romantic relationship or otherwise–and still be fiercely self-reliant. Once you think being committed to someone means being dependent on them, you are doomed.

How to be Prettier: I really like the look when girls hide skinny little braids into their hair when they wear it down.

How to be (less) Awkward: People only ask you to do things with them if they think that having you there will make the whole experience more fun. This is true whether your girlfriends invite you to the bar for the night; your mom wants to play tennis with you; or somebody asks you to marry them.

How to be Smarter: Recently, on my friend’s birthday, at her party, I asked her what her goals were for her next year (I’m always that fun…..). She said, without hesitation, that in her next year, she wanted to continue to be “a good daughter, a good friend, and a good girlfriend.” I find this a perfect goal, whether today is start of a new year for you, or just the start of a new day for you.

How to be Prettier: If you have curls, or a bit of a wave to your hair, growing your hair longer tends to pull the curls down and make them less unruly. 

How to be (less) Awkward: You must as well wear what you like, because you’re gonna die someday, and no one will remember what you wore except for you, anyways. This should be an extremely freeing thought, not a scary one.

How to be Smarter: The age-old trick of laying out your clothes the night before really does save five or ten minutes in the morning.

How to be Prettier: I’m working on a theory about the power of hot pink and grey. I’m loving the look of a high waisted grey skirt with a hot pink tank. Or, for work, a grey dress with hot pink nails. The colors look beautiful together.

How to be (less) Awkward: Does anybody ever like a complainer? Are your problems really interesting to everyone else, all of the time? Does talking about things, instead of fixing them, ever work?

How to be Smarter: All financial advice can seem so complicated and long winded. It all boils down to: Live within your means, save for retirement, have an emergency fund, and pay off credit card debt. If all four at once seem daunting, your goal should be to start doing one more of those things a month, and, after four months, you should be on track, doing all of them.

How to be Prettier: This tank is so cute, and monogrammed, and on sale. And you can wear it over a tight floral tee shirt or long sleeved shirt for a hippie vibe as the summer turns into fall. 

How to be (less) Awkward: Awkwardness is a mental state only; it is not physical; and you create it in your head. Remembering this is helpful in a state of uncomfortableness.

How to be Smarter: No one needs to hear all of the truth all of the time, and no one needs to say all of the truth all of the time. Life gets easier with some omissions of unimportant things.

How to be Prettier: I think leopard print with red accents is over-done. Try leopard print with fuchsia accents instead; ie. a leopard dress with fuchsia heels or clutch.

How to be (less) Awkward: One of the more embarrassing, but more effective things I do before going to a party or an event I’m nervous about is to scream in my car, on the way driving there, “I’m so excited to meet these people!” Over and over and over again. Somehow, saying the words makes it more true.

How to be Smarter: A good old-fashioned word game never hurt anyone. A great site for crosswords.

How to be Prettier: Make sure your hair is fully soaked through in the shower before you put the shampoo in–it gets it cleaner. 

How to be (less) Awkward: The only person that should have their arms crossed is a teacher yelling at a wayward student. Unfold your arms when talking to people–it looks so defensive and unfriendly.