How to be Smarter: I read this entire book over the past weekend: it’s extremely interesting, it covers many favorite television shows, and it’s written in a very accessible, almost script-like style. I highly recommend.
How to be Prettier: If you want to be more creative with your outfit choices, limit the pieces available to you. The fewer choices you have, the more imaginative you will be forced to become with the pairings and color choices. (A natural way to do this is to wait a few extra days before laundry day).
How to be (less) Awkward: The song “It’s Amazing” by Jem, about pushing through walls to reach dreams, is one of my favorite calming songs when I’m thinking about the future.
How to be Smarter: You can change your whole life in a big way just by changing all the little ways and routines you have developed. Shaking up your life dramatically isn’t just about changing your job, significant other, or city, it can also be changing every little thing in your life except for the “big things.”
How to be Prettier: An SP&A Exclusive Discount code: With the promo code SP&A, you can get 10% off your order at Chromatic Gallerie. I’ve worn the Eggplant a Kiss heels twice this week, as they are subdued enough for work, but more summer-like than my usual black heels. (Coupon expires 6/30).
How to be (less) Awkward: How to make friends. [A Flash Friday Christina from 40:20 Vision and I wrote].
How to be Smarter: You know how when you were little and you didn’t want to eat something, you would be encouraged to try “just one bite”? Keep that habit up as an adult. Before deciding something is not for you, try it for a second just to be sure it’s not you’re new favorite food/activity/website/author/nail polish/etc.
How to be Prettier: If you layer two pairs of tights, any holes won’t be noticeable as two different pairs rarely get snags in the same places. (The tights need to be thin and the same color for this to work).
How to be (less) Awkward: In an email conversation, it helps to end each email with a question to keep the conversation moving.
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P.S. This month, Smart Pretty and Awkward turns 3 and a half years old! And one year ago today is also when I launched the newsletter Coffee with Molly…thank you for your amazing support. (As always, you can follow SP&A on Facebook, Twitter, Bloglovin’, or Tumblr). xo, Molly
How to be Smarter: Build a life so uniquely yours that no one can imagine anyone but you living it. Make your choices so intentionally and specifically tailored to your personality and your goals that it is impossible to conceive of anyone but you living the one specific life that you live. Your life should not be interchangeable with anyone else’s–and that’s a good thing because it means you are listening to your own specific heart, mind and values.
How to be Prettier: An SP&A Exclusive Discount code: With the promo code SPANDA10, you can get 10% off your order at Messes of Dresses. I have my eye on the Envious Bow Dress, the Sunflower Shirt, and the Marcel Loafers. (Coupon expires 5/14).
How to be (less) Awkward: A really cleverly written article on dignity [some profanity].
How to be Smarter: If you self-identify as a sensitive soul, you have to be strict on who and what you let into your life. Being sensitive isn’t about being weak or a crybaby–it’s about knowing yourself well-enough to be aware of the types of behaviors and personalities that make you feel anxious or worried, and then being tough enough to say “no thanks” to being exposed to them.
How to be Prettier: I ordered these shoes in Clay Suede yesterday, and I love their practical, wearable take on two trends this spring: oxfords and neon (I actually got mine here, but then found them cheaper on Amazon).
How to be (less) Awkward: 13 Steps to Get Through a Rough Day. (My favorite? Step 5.)
Over on 40:20 Vision, we are talking about Inspiring Women in Media. Come on over and share who inspires you! (Becky Quick from Squawk Box is one of my favorite media role models).
How to be Smarter: The people that get to the top of the success staircase first are the ones that keep moving their feet even if given the chance to ride an escalator. An opportunity to rise to the top should be used as a way to climb faster, not as a chance to relax on the ride up.
How to be Prettier: These foldable flats actually do fit in a purse, and are comfortable enough to walk in for medium distances (I walked like 20 blocks in them yesterday).
How to be (less) Awkward: I think it’s sweet to treat a co-worker to a coffee or a lunch on the anniversary of the day they started working at the company. There is a special relationship that comes from sitting next to someone for 8 or 10 hours a day, and acknowledging their first day working at their current job is a nice way to celebrate that unique bond.
How to be Smarter: 7 Tips to Help You Wake-up Faster (the last tip, Train Yourself, is something I would have never thought of before).
How to be Prettier: While you are paying at the nail salon, pull your keys out and put them in a jacket pocket so you don’t need to hunt through your purse with freshly done nails when you arrive home.
How to be (less) Awkward: How to be Popular at Work.
How to be Smarter: The best way to identify your writing voice, whether it is for a blog, a novel, or for something else, is to write a lot. (Having posts or chapters already written gives you works to study to effectively label your voice and tone).
How to be Prettier: Leather jackets are a great transition piece for spring, but the key that makes them truly versatile is to look for one with a hood. A hood keeps you warm on chilly spring mornings or nights, and protects hair if you get caught in a quick spring shower.
How to be (less) Awkward: Non-Awkward Ways to Start and End Networking Conversations. (I usually use some combination of the tips To Make a Friend and To Lighten the Mood to start a conversation, and To Exit Gracefully to end).
How to be Smarter: People are brave in different ways. What’s easy for some people can require other people to find a lot of courage (and maybe cause some tears and anxiety) to accomplish the same thing. There are certainly things that you do effortlessly that others might stay up at night worrying about. Thinking that isn’t to make you feel superior than anyone else –it’s to humanize everyone (and to emphasize the importance of kindness to everyone, because you never know what shy smile you give a girl in the hall could change her day by making her feel more comfortable inside).
How to be Prettier: I got these booties last weekend: a great transition shoe between my winter riding boots and summer sandals. I got them in black suede, and I like the long line they create when worn with black tights.
How to be (less) Awkward: This blog has had me laughing out loud at my computer for the past few days [contains light swearing and light adult themes].
How to be Smarter: Discussion on risk and risk quotient [a Flash Friday column with Christina from 40:20 Vision that I found really interesting to write].
How to be Prettier: Songs for feeling better on tough body image days.
How to be (less) Awkward: People sometimes think that you are either awkward or you are cool, but I actually rarely hear someone described as “cool.” I think the opposite of being awkward actually isn’t being cool, it’s being friendly. You can usually minimize being perceived as awkward by doing things that make you seem friendly and warm: smiling at others, putting out your hand first to introduce yourself, and asking the first question in the small talk game. Little things that make you seem confident and interested in others usually counter-balance most perceived awkwardness by others (even if you still feel really awkward and dorky on the inside, which is totally fine).
How to be Smarter: Other people tend to meet you on your expectation level. If you only have the highest expectations for yourself, those around you tend to raise their own stakes to meet you. (And the ones that don’t usually fade away). Conversely, if you don’t expect much from yourself or try very hard, usually the people in your life lower the amount of effort or energy they put into you to match what you believe you are capable of.
How to be Prettier: I love writing in composition notebooks, and always have one with me with a running to-do list (every day gets a page). But every morning, looking at the whole page filled with To-Do’s was stressing me out. The simple change from a larger notebook to a smaller one makes me feel less overwhelmed by the list, and I have been more selective about what is actually important enough to write down on the smaller page. As a fun bonus, I’ve gotten a lot of comments about the adorable mini-notebook size.
How to be (less) Awkward: One of the dividing lines between a grown-up relationship and an immature one is whether or not you fight in front of others; it’s okay to differ with a significant other but disagreements should be worked out without an audience.
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P.S. This weekend I’m thrilled to be attending Texas Style Council in Austin, Texas. I’ll be a mentor at Saturday’s Speed Mentoring Breakfast on the topic “Finding Your Content Niche” and moderating a panel on “Blogging Lessons Learned” on Sunday. For Saturday’s breakfast, I’m also excited to be wearing clothes from the Austin-based pop-up shop Hunt.Gather.Style. If you’ll be attending TxSC as well, please leave a comment or let’s connect on Twitter!
How to be Smarter: What are the odds of you being here?
How to be Prettier: Wearing a top that matches your eye color is one of the quickest ways to have your eyes pop (and wearing a color the same shade as your eyes almost always guarantees someone will compliment you on them).
How to be (less) Awkward: Instead of being scared you will become a failure, be scared you will become a success. Any way you look at the future, parts of it will be scary and unknown. But it’s simply more fun to worry that you will be promoted to CEO on your first day and no longer have time to attend your weekly kickboxing class, than to imagine you will get fired on your first day and no longer have the funds to attend your weekly kickboxing class. If you must worry about unexpected things, then at least let yourself worry about fun unexpected things.
How to be Smarter: Loving, meaningful romantic relationships are not a limited-edition item. If it feels like all your friends are getting into these great relationships and you’re being left behind, remind yourself that there is not just one good relationship out there and whoever finds it first is the only one that gets it. There’s no deadline on finding someone wonderful.
How to be Prettier: Lately I have been wearing this pair of long gold Swoon earrings from the English store Astrid & Miyu almost every night I go out. They are substantial but not overly heavy (they are even in my Twitter profile picture).
How to be (less) Awkward: Before assuming someone doesn’t like you, ask yourself if you have attempted to build a friendship with them. Sometimes what we assume is a personal insult (i.e. they don’t say hi to you at parties) is really just a lack of a connection. Some mini-friendship building tips: ask a co-worker what their weekend plans are, say hi when you see a group project teammate at the library, or if you see a girl from your dorm struggling with heavy grocery bags, offer to carry one. Attempt to build a mini-friendship before assuming someone just doesn’t care for you.
How to be Smarter: The smartest people don’t tell you everything at once. They tell you about half of what you need to know, and then when you ask questions for clarification, they look even smarter when they expand on their knowledge as the conversation goes on.
How to be Prettier: If you are being photographed over and over again, every few pictures, stop, breathe and smile again. By “freshening” your smile every few snaps, you can avoid looking too posed or fake.
How to be (less) Awkward: When I’m not sure what to use as a farewell signature in an email , I just take the last sentence of the email and make it into the closing (i.e. “Can’t wait to see you, Molly” or “Let me know if you have any questions, Molly”). That way I don’t have to worry about the sign-off being too formal (“Best, Molly”) or too casual (“xoxo, Molly”) for the relationship.
How to be Smarter: Worrying and thinking are different activities. Worrying implies anxiety (“I just know I will throw up during my class presentation”), while thinking implies solution-based thoughts (“What can I write on my notecards that will calm me down?”) Sometimes when I am mulling something over, I remind myself “less worrying, more thinking.”
How to be Prettier: In a pinch, if I am in cab or another place I don’t have a mirror, I turn the screen around on my iPhone camera and use it to double-check there is no lipstick on my teeth and my mascara isn’t smudged.
How to be (less) Awkward: People like to talk about what they love. That’s why parents like to talk about their kids, why brides want to talk about their fiances, and why button collectors want to talk about buttons. If you’re at a loss for a conversation topic with someone, focusing the questions on what they love–be it a hobby or a person–can make the whole conversation run smoother.
P.S. Please check out the latest Flash Friday collaboration with 40:20 Vision on the topic of Priorities!
How to be Smarter: Rules of a Creator’s Life. (I especially like number six).
How to be Prettier: I’m seeing a lot of orange-tangerine in springtime clothes this year; this skirt is one of my favorite pieces I’ve seen so far in the color. (Reminder: With the promo code SMARTER, you can get 30% off a single regular priced item and free standard shipping at Francesca’s Collections, valid until 1/30). Disclaimer: Online only. Cannot be combined with other discounts or promo codes. One time use. Gift cards & sale items are excluded.
How to be (less) Awkward: When something small annoys you, before saying something, wait five minutes. Usually, in five minutes, you’ll have either forgotten about the issue or it will have corrected itself. If you save speaking up about issues for the things that really matter to you, you are usually listened to more than if you constantly complain about smaller things that really weren’t that important to you to begin with.
How to be Smarter: To become better at something, whether it’s a skill or a character trait, simply: 1. do it over and over and over again and 2. be open to hearing suggestions on how you could improve. Nobody ever got worse at something by practicing and asking someone trusted for feedback on their performance.
How to be Prettier: When video-chatting or Skyping with far-away friends and family, putting on “stage makeup”–slightly brighter lips and cheeks–helps to keep from looking too washed out “on-camera.” (Even if there is only one other person seeing you!)
How to be (less) Awkward: A positive, fun site: Daily Pep Talk From a Best Friend.
